Crime Of Thought

Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): "May I address the court?" Judge: "Of course." Defendant: "If I called you a son of a bitch, what would you do?" Judge:

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Chinese Detective

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few day

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Obsessions

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You ar

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Vaseline

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price. The motorcycle is missing a seal, though, so whenever it rains Steve has to smear Vaseline over the spot wher

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Go Fly A Kite

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds; then it comes crashing back down. He tries this a few more times

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All About Adam

Wandering dejectedly in The Garden of Eden, Eve told God, "I'm lonely I'm tired of eating apples by myself." "Okay," God said, "I'll create a man for you." Eve said, "A man!

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Alimony

Alimony Joke "Mr. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair,

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Idioms and introductory words on the letter A - Идиомы и вводные слова на букву A

apple of discord (subject of envy or quarrel) - яблоко раздора This question is an apple of discord in our family. after all (despite, nevertheless) - все-таки I knew it! Afte

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Shark Fishing

One day the pope was in from Italy and after a rough week of meeting arch bishops and other religious figures, he decided to go see the Galveston shore in Texas. When he arrives in

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