LEARN ENGLISH - Учим английский самостоятельно и бесплатно. Page 124

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Bee Jokes for the Pollen in You

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Obstetrician Visit

Obstetrician Visit

Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office.

After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you.

A Doctor's Opinion

A Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.

The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!" and stormed off to work.
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What Day It Is

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is."

"Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office.
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Red Tomatoes

A beautiful blonde woman is having trouble growing tomatoes... seems she can't get them to turn red.

She knows it is not the weather or the soil as the man next door has a garden fu

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Stirring On Mars

The US finally sent the first manned space mission to Mars. The spacecraft gently touched down and the astronaut descended and tested the atmosphere. Low and behold it was safe for people t

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Nude Tan

A rather well built woman, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation time sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. The first day she sunbathed, she wore a red bathing suit. However on the second d

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Labor Pills

Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to

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Holy Water

One day there were four nuns in line for confessional.
The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
She said "I saw a man's private part." He

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16 Years Of Meat

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what

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Mississippi

You must use an Italian accent for this joke to work:

One Day Ima go to Detroit to a Bigga Otel, I go down to eata breakfast, I tella waitress, I wanna two pisses of toast. She brin

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Smart Bribe

Tried in a hostile town, a guy didn't think he had a chance of getting off a murder charge, so shortly before the jury retired he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of the lesser c

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Driving Award

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"

"No problem at all. I just observed your safe dr

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Who's Child Is It?

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought t

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Obscene Note

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought th

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Strong Pill

Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't interested in sex anymore.
Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..."
"Doc, we'

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