Greetings in English — Приветствия на английском

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50 dollars is 50 dollars

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane." Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but

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The Test

One day there was this Teacher who after missing a few days of school because of snow on Friday decided to tell her students that there was going to be a test Monday no matter what.

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Toilet Paper

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the h

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3 Wishes

A guy walks into a bar. He has a huge wad in his pocket, 2 beautiful blondes on either arm, and a little man on his shoulder. The bartender thinks this is odd but figures it would be ok to

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Little Green Man

There was a lil' green man who went to his lil' green house. He went to his lil' green shower and turned the lil' green tap on. He heard the lil' green doorbell ring, so he turned off the l

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College Female Dorms

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to th

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Popular phrasal verbs in English - Популярные фразовые глаголы в английском

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Sitting In The Car

A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly

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A close Shave

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the ba

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Far East Problem

A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, ve

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Obsessions

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You ar

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Vaseline

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price. The motorcycle is missing a seal, though, so whenever it rains Steve has to smear Vaseline over the spot wher

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Go Fly A Kite

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds; then it comes crashing back down. He tries this a few more times

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All About Adam

Wandering dejectedly in The Garden of Eden, Eve told God, "I'm lonely I'm tired of eating apples by myself." "Okay," God said, "I'll create a man for you." Eve said, "A man!

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Alimony

Alimony Joke "Mr. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair,

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